Hi, my name is...

In my experience, people who have to define themselves usually do a piss poor job at it. Let me give you an example.

The “Original” Matt D. First of all, the word original implies being the first at something, and I highly doubt you were the first halfwit graced with such a unique name. Second, if you have to explicitly state that you are original, you clearly have not done a very good job at standing out from the crowd. If someone says “Hey, you know Matt D?” and the response is something like “Matt D who?”, adding the additional description “you know, the Original Matt D” not only is a contradiction in terms, but makes you and whomever speaks it incur a 50 IQ point penalty. No arguing, you have now made yourself and your acquaintances drop a few levels in the intellectual food chain.

And to be fair, the same applies for females. Like Miss J “The sweetest girl”. If you have to start your own campaign and spam me with propaganda about how you are so damn sweet, you obviously are trying to hedge some equally negative impressions of you that might be floating around. Stop trying to be the Associated Press and let people gather the facts, and make their own assessment of what kind of person you are. Anyone (at least anyone who matters) will do so anyways, and you are only shooting yourself in the foot with such shameless self promotion.

A douche bag by any other name is still a douche bag, so stop misrepresenting yourself and actually act like a person worth of remembering.